"---and the man says, 'That's not a sheep, that's my wife!'" Chance grinned in expectation. I didn't laugh.
"Aw, come on, Ned," my partner said. "It was a funny joke." "No it wasn't," I said. "I thought it was funny," Harvey Willits said. I glanced back at Harvey, who had his hands tied to his saddle horn. Chance and I caught the arsonist and we were taking him to the jail in Bass Lake to get the bounty on his head. "You don't count," my partner said. "You think burnin' churches is funny." Willits scowled, but kept quiet. "Don't do you ever laugh?" Chance asked as we rode towards Bass Lake. "Or smile?" "Of course I do," I replied. I shrugged. "Well, at home I do. I admit I don't do much of either when I'm working." "Lemme get this straight, Ned," my partner persisted. "You're a happy-go-lucky guy at home and an unfunny guy when you work?" I shook my head in amusement. "I don't think you could find anyone in this world who'd describe me as 'happy-go-lucky'. It's just easier to get respect if I'm serious." "Can't argue with that," Chance said. "You certainly had me doin' what you asked when we met." Chance had been a small-time thief when I captured him. The trouble was, I'd promised my dying mother that I would train a partner to watch my back. Even though he was a criminal, I liked Gil Chance right off. I offered him the job, provided he stop his thieving lifestyle. We'd been partners now for about a month. For a fellow who'd never had a break in his entire life, Chance was certainly happy-go-lucky. His eternal cheerfulness grated on me at times, but I had to admit things were never dull around him. We stopped at the sheriff's office in Bass Lake. Chance showed Sheriff Bob Finster the wanted poster for Willits. Finster was a stocky fellow of medium height, with so much black hair on his arms and chest that he was known in Bass Lake as "Bear". Finster put Harvey in a cell and wrote us a script for the bounty. "Take this across the street there, to the bank," the sheriff said. "You'll get your money right away." Outside, Chance untied his horse from the rail. "I saw a blacksmith up a ways," he said. "Why don't you cash that," he nodded to the script. "While I get this shoe looked at." One of his mare's hind shoes was loose, and Chance wanted it reset before it came off completely. "All right," I said. My partner headed up the street and I walked across to the bank. It was hot outside; inside the bank it was even hotter. Someone had opened the windows in an effort to relieve the stuffiness, but so far it wasn't working. The bank was full of patrons, which didn't help either. I stood in line behind a small boy and a very crippled old man. The boy, who looked to be about six, had his arms around a large glass jar completely full of coins. "Did you save all that money yourself?" I asked, fanning myself with my hat. The boy looked up. "Yes, sir. My grampa's gonna help me open a savings account." The old man smiled down at the boy. "That's wonderful," I said. "Arthur counts those coins every day," the grandfather chuckled as he leaned on his cane. "I fear he's worn the faces off." "Sounds like he'd be a great banker some day," I said. "Wouldn't that be nice," the old man replied. "A banker in the family." He smiled fondly at the boy, who giggled. If I hadn't been preoccupied with the boy and his grandfather, I might have noticed the two men who entered the bank behind me. I didn't turn when the bell above the front door tinkled, but I turned when one of them said, "Nobody move! This is a holdup!" There was a collective gasp from everyone in the room. The two men stood just inside the door. One turned and locked the door, but left the key in the keyhole. Both men were similar in size and shape; bandanas obscured their faces. "I didn't think there'd be this many people in here, Mac," the robber in front said. "Jus' line'em up along the walls, Jeb," Mac replied. "And take their weapons." "All right, lissen up!" Jeb snarled, waving his gun at us. "Everbody put your guns on the floor an' move to the walls. Don't wanna hurt no one, but we will if you don't cooperate." I carefully pulled my Colt from the holster and placed it on the floor. Then I followed Arthur and his grandfather to the edge of the room. I snagged a chair and helped the old man into it. "Thank you," he breathed, pulling Arthur to his side and putting an arm around him. The boy's eyes were wide with shock. Mac glared at the bank employees behind the counter. "Which one of you's the bank manager?" he snarled. Everyone looked at a small, balding man fiddling with his glasses. He looked as though he wanted to be anywhere but here. My heart went out to the poor fellow. "Well, Mr. Bank Manager," Mac walked around the counter, grabbed the manager by the arm, and yanked the man towards the room in the rear of the building. "You and I are going to open the safe. Jeb!" "Yup," his partner replied. "Shoot anyone who gives you trouble." I couldn't see Jeb's mouth under the scarf, but I could tell he was grinning. "It'd be my pleasure," he sneered. He picked up the weapons and piled them on the counter. All I had to do was get Jeb close and I'd hit him. Right, and I'm Abraham Lincoln. How was I going to subdue an armed man in a room full of unarmed innocents? I only had to look down at little Arthur, shivering in his granddad's arm, to know that someone would get hurt. I had my back to an open window. The breeze felt marginally better, but my shirt was still sticking to my back. A hiss from outside made me stiffen. I knew that sound. It was the tss sss that Chance used to call his horse. I slowly moved my right hand behind my back and wiggled my fingers. Something bumped my hand; I closed my fingers around the butt of Chance's gun. Now I just had to pick my moment. I didn't have a choice. Young Arthur dropped his piggy bank. The glass shattered and coins rolled everywhere. "Now what?" Jeb demanded. I stepped forward a bit to shield the boy, keeping the gun hidden behind my leg. Jeb stomped over to us. "What the hell is this?" he snarled, leaning over to look at Arthur. The boy whimpered and tried to shrink against his grandfather. When Jeb bent over to look at the mess, I clobbered him. Everyone gasped as the robber slumped to the floor. I put my finger to my lips to quiet them. "Everyone out," I whispered. "Quiet as you can." I could only pray that Mac hadn't heard the commotion. "Wait!" Chance hissed as he pulled himself through the window. "The bell!" Everyone froze. A tall man near the front door reached up and carefully unhooked the bell hanging over the opening. Then he unlocked the door and began helping people out. "How'd you know we were being robbed?" I whispered to Chance as I removed Jeb's gun from his limp hand. "You must be rubbin' off on me, Chief," my partner whispered back. "I saw these two fellas walkin' towards the bank and somethin' about 'em didn't look right." "Keep an eye on the back," I said, handing him the gun. "The other one's in the safe with the bank manager." Chance nodded and went behind the counter, smiling confidence to the bank employees who were moving towards the door. I helped the old man from the chair, and then picked up Arthur. "You saved the day, son," I murmured. "You dropped your piggy bank and helped stop a bank robbery." The boy was still a bit wide-eyed. "Tell you what," I said as we walked outside. I set the boy on his feet and knelt beside him. "If you give me time to get the other robber, I promise to help you pick up all those coins. You remember how many there are?" Arthur nodded. "Good. Now go help your grandfather." Arthur's grandfather looked at me over the boy's head. "Thank you, sir." I touched the brim of my hat. "You're welcome." "Be careful." "Oh," I said, rising. The sheriff was marching across the street, shotgun in hand. "I will." "What the hell's going on?" Finster demanded. "I just saw your partner climb through the window of the bank." "There's two bank robbers in there," I replied. "One's unconscious, but the other one's in the safe with the manager." The last of the bank employees hurried out of the building as we entered. Motioning Chance to us, we had a whispered conference as we crouched down in front of the counter. "So this is what Hell is like," Chance murmured. "What?" I gave him a blank look. My partner grinned. "Hotter than blue blazes and all the money we could want and can't have." Finster looked at me. "Is he always like this?" "I'm afraid so," I replied. The sheriff rolled his eyes. "How do you want to do this?" he asked gruffly. "We need to lure him out somehow." I looked at Jeb, still lying on the floor. "He'd be the obvious choice, but he's no help." "Lemme do it," Chance said. "Maybe bein' inside the safe will muffle my voice enough that he won't know it's not his partner." "Worth a try," Finster said. He nodded to me. "You and I can stand on either side of the door. I can grab Ted. He's the manager. You get the other fellow." "All right," I said. To Chance I said, "The one inside is called Mac." My partner nodded. The sheriff and I crept around the counter and took our places on either side of the door. I picked up my Colt as I passed the pile of weapons. The sheriff nodded that he was ready, and I nodded to Chance. "Mac?" Chance called out, sounding worried. "You'd better come out here quick. Somethin's happenin' outside." There were shuffling noises from inside the safe, then the bank manager appeared, hands held high. Mac followed, gun jammed in the man's back. "Huh?" Mac said when he saw me next to the door. As his attention turned my way, Finster grabbed the bank manager and pulled him out of harm's way. I put the Colt's barrel in Mac's ear and said, "Don't even breathe." Mac made a move with his gun so I put my left fist in his face. The robber melted to the floor. There was a second thud when the bank manager fainted. "Why didn't you just shoot him?" Chance asked as he rose from behind the counter. "I might have hit the sheriff," I said, shaking my throbbing hand. "Or the manager." "You just don't like to shoot people," Chance said. "That too." Finster propped the manager up against the counter, took Mac's gun, and walked over to the door. He opened it and shouted to someone outside. Presently, two burly men entered. "Take that one," the sheriff pointed to Jeb. "And the one behind the counter over to the jail." One of the men must have been the blacksmith, for as he hoisted the limp Jeb over his shoulder, he said to Chance, "I don't charge that much to shoe a horse. You didn't have to rob the bank." Chance looked startled for a moment, then grinned. "Hell, I'd shoe her myself before I'd rob a bank to pay for it. I live for the day a lady puts her foot in my lap."