Andy's Page

Who am I?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling mountains¹ and crushing ice.²  I have lived in several different countries,^.and yet cannot tell you where I am from.³ I have trisected an angle using only a compass and straightedge⁴ and maintain a list of over 2000 uses for peanut butter.⁵ Women swoon at my sensous and god-like guitar playing.⁶ I have written a best-seller.⁷ On my lunch breaks, I have been known to get^. everything on my list done and still have time to^. eat a meal and return to work on time.⁸ I have ridden the Angeles Crest Century⁹, and ridden my bicycle from one end of the country to the other.¹⁰ My photographs can be found in National Geographic¹¹ and my paintings are on permanent display.¹² I have conversations with God. ^.I leap tall buildings in a single bound,¹³ stop bullets with my chest,¹⁴ and outrun speeding freight trains with ease.¹⁵ I can hyphenate Akkadian, type in Greek,¹⁶ and sing in Spanish.¹⁷ I have been given a haircut by the Barber of Seville.¹⁸ One afternoon, I  ate Wurst in Germany, French bread in France and Swiss cheese in Switzerland,¹⁹ and still made it back in time for supper.  My wife loves me, and I once even took out the trash without being asked.^.

 

1. Take a picture of a mountain, import it into Photoshop, and set the size to 50%....
2. Wish I had an air conditioner.
3. Well, I can, but it takes about two or three minutes.
4. Haven't gotten it to work for all angles yet, though.
5. Darn tootin' I do. Click here.
6. Well, my wife likes it, anyway.
7. It's the best-selling book that I've published myself. 5,000 copies and still selling strong. Check it out here, or even here.
8. Providing that a Twinkie counts as a meal.
9. Never said I finished it... I only did about 40 miles.
10. Did I mention that the country in question is Lichtenstein?
11. Bad photographs make good bookmarks.
12. Yup. A local potter took one of my paintings (it was in the "free" box at a yard sale) and hung it in his pottery studio.  Maybe I should have hung on to it... but I prefer the fame.
13. Or was that picket fences with a running start?
14. If thrown lightly from across the room.
15. N Gauge and HO scale freight trains only.
16. Everyday stuff when you work at Eisenbraun's.
17. People prefer it when I just play the guitar, though.
18. I've cut my own hair ever since.  Or not cut it, some would argue.
19. It doesn't hurt that I used to live just a few miles from the french and Swiss borders...

& The first issue

& The last issue

Andy's Guitar Page